In the foster care world our lives can change so fast and we can loss family members and add them back in the same day. On Saturday February 20th we had to say goodbye to 2 wonderful girls who stayed with us for 3 short days. We'll we loved having them they got to go live with family which can be the best place for them. We enjoyed every minute we had with them.
That same night we got a call at 830 p.m. asking if we could take a placement. There were 5 kids total and they really wanted Ms. A who is 9 and baby E who is 3 months old to stay together and they preferred to keep Little Mr. C who is 1 with them. I told them we could take the 9 year old and the baby for sure and we could take Mr. C if they would let us. We knew they would have to get approval because we would have to have 3 in one room and you are not allowed to have more than 2 under . We weren't sure if they would approve it for more than just a night or even at all. I had a feeling they were coming but it had been 2 hours and I had not heard anything. So I assumed they were not coming and didn't get anything ready. I guess I should have spent those 2 hours getting things ready because at 1030 pm they were at the door.
God has proved to us over and over again that he is braking the rules for us. It just shows me how in control God is with everything in our lives. So by Gods graces we are a family of 8. We know that God will help us give these little ones everything they need.
I so wish I could share pictures because everyone of them have stole my heart.
We thought the last 3 would be staying a short time however Gods plan is different. All of our 3 separate families will be staying for at least 6 months :) We love everyday they get to be here.
One thing I have ran into is people telling me that they think I have my hands to full. I want to turn around and say some not so nice thing but that's not what God would want me to do. I wish people could just see how blessed we are to be able to care from these children in their time of need. I only hope that I can show them Gods grace and glory through what I do and say.
I want to write more but my babies and wanting their mamma. Only if you knew how much I love write the words "my babies". This is one proud mamma.
So I leave you with my wonderful family of 8 (12, 9, 2, 1, 1, 4 months)
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Sunday, February 17, 2013
We are so blessed
While things at our house have gotten busy again. On Friday we add a new little man to our house. Little man is 18 months. He is a so precious and has already stole my heart. Little man is going to be staying with us for awhile and we could only hope forever however with having other siblings I don't know how likely that would happen. We know that God is capable of anything. So its up to God how longs he ends up staying with us.
Little Man's call: On Thursday I had this feeling all day long that the phone was going to ring and when the phone would ring they would be calling us with a little one. I felt God telling me when you get this call just say yes no matter what they tell you. So Thursday after school I was on my way to take Ms. J to the dentist and while I was signing papers for her fillings my phone started to vibrate. I told the lady I had to take this call. It was our worker. She started saying we have this 1 year old boy if you are interested. I said are you kidding me off course yes. Then she said while there are some things I need to tell you first. I was like okay. Our worker said the boy has tons of behavior episodes everyday and has been tho 5 homes already with some of the families requesting the moves. He is also aggressive with pets and other kids. I thought for a second as she was saying this because I was thinking about our pet. Our dog Louie came from a abusive home and I didn't think he would handle it very well but within 2 seconds of even thinking about it. I felt God telling me again. Remember what I told you. No matter what they say tell them yes. So I did as I felt God was telling me. I said we would love to take him. I told my husband. He was surprised because I always call and ask him unless it is an emergency placement. So on Friday our beautiful and wonderful little boy came. Little Man and had no behaviors and has been loving to our dogs. God knew what he was doing by bring this little 18 month old boy into our home that has already be labeled by behaviors. He loves to be held and yes when I put in down he will start to cry and kick in scream however we have noticed that it is only at times when there is something new. To me that is not behavior. That is just this poor little boy telling you that he is scared. Little man is behind is speech so he can not verbalize his feelings like most 18 month old's.
On Saturday I got a phone call when I was on my way to get Ms. J from her friends house that is an hour drive each way. I told them we could love to take them. So once again by God's blessing we have 5 wonderful and beauty kids. Ms. F who is 7 and Little Miss L who is 5 will only be staying for a short while. However, we will take everyday we get with them as they are a huge blessing to our family.
Over the last month we have come to realize that we consistently keep getting 5 kids. Not 4 or 3 we keep ending up with 5 total. We know that this is all in Gods hands. Our home is only approved for 4 kids and 1 baby between 0-6 months due to the number of rooms we have. In Oklahoma they only allow 2 kids in a room and they have to have the high powers approve it and they normal only approve it in rare cases. It only proves to us more that this is all in God's hands.
Well we don't mind having 5 kids and love every minute of it. However, our current home just doesn't give them the room they need as kids. We also need a bigger dinning room table so that we can all sit together at the table as I think it is so important. So all of you prayer worriers we could use some prayer. We currently don't have the funds to purchase a home. However we know that if it is Gods will for us to have this many foster kids on an everyday basis that he will help us provide the space that they need. I would love with all of my heart to be a stay at home foster mom to all of these wonderful children. Many of the children benefit from one of the parents staying home. Right we know that it is all and God's hand and we know that we can trust him to make whatever he has planned for us possible.
Little Man's call: On Thursday I had this feeling all day long that the phone was going to ring and when the phone would ring they would be calling us with a little one. I felt God telling me when you get this call just say yes no matter what they tell you. So Thursday after school I was on my way to take Ms. J to the dentist and while I was signing papers for her fillings my phone started to vibrate. I told the lady I had to take this call. It was our worker. She started saying we have this 1 year old boy if you are interested. I said are you kidding me off course yes. Then she said while there are some things I need to tell you first. I was like okay. Our worker said the boy has tons of behavior episodes everyday and has been tho 5 homes already with some of the families requesting the moves. He is also aggressive with pets and other kids. I thought for a second as she was saying this because I was thinking about our pet. Our dog Louie came from a abusive home and I didn't think he would handle it very well but within 2 seconds of even thinking about it. I felt God telling me again. Remember what I told you. No matter what they say tell them yes. So I did as I felt God was telling me. I said we would love to take him. I told my husband. He was surprised because I always call and ask him unless it is an emergency placement. So on Friday our beautiful and wonderful little boy came. Little Man and had no behaviors and has been loving to our dogs. God knew what he was doing by bring this little 18 month old boy into our home that has already be labeled by behaviors. He loves to be held and yes when I put in down he will start to cry and kick in scream however we have noticed that it is only at times when there is something new. To me that is not behavior. That is just this poor little boy telling you that he is scared. Little man is behind is speech so he can not verbalize his feelings like most 18 month old's.
On Saturday I got a phone call when I was on my way to get Ms. J from her friends house that is an hour drive each way. I told them we could love to take them. So once again by God's blessing we have 5 wonderful and beauty kids. Ms. F who is 7 and Little Miss L who is 5 will only be staying for a short while. However, we will take everyday we get with them as they are a huge blessing to our family.
Over the last month we have come to realize that we consistently keep getting 5 kids. Not 4 or 3 we keep ending up with 5 total. We know that this is all in Gods hands. Our home is only approved for 4 kids and 1 baby between 0-6 months due to the number of rooms we have. In Oklahoma they only allow 2 kids in a room and they have to have the high powers approve it and they normal only approve it in rare cases. It only proves to us more that this is all in God's hands.
Well we don't mind having 5 kids and love every minute of it. However, our current home just doesn't give them the room they need as kids. We also need a bigger dinning room table so that we can all sit together at the table as I think it is so important. So all of you prayer worriers we could use some prayer. We currently don't have the funds to purchase a home. However we know that if it is Gods will for us to have this many foster kids on an everyday basis that he will help us provide the space that they need. I would love with all of my heart to be a stay at home foster mom to all of these wonderful children. Many of the children benefit from one of the parents staying home. Right we know that it is all and God's hand and we know that we can trust him to make whatever he has planned for us possible.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Our Growing Family
We have been so blessed with wonderful Foster Kids. Two weeks ago we added 3 members to our family. That made a total of 5 wonderful kids. However, it only lasted for 2 days before the 3 headed to live with family. There was Ms. B who was 6 years old, Ms. M who was 4 years old and Mr. B who was a precious 4 days old. I really wish they could of stayed however that wasn't Gods plan.
Last week we had many calls for placements however God was just saying no so we had to say no. I felt so bad saying no to kids who need a loving home but the true is I can't help them all and I have to let me heart understand that. After receiving a call or two each day over the last week and a half we finally felt God saying yes. We said yes to a 7 year old girl. However things have been a little crazy with her case and we are still waiting to find out if she will be coming or not.
Two nights ago we got a call at 10:30 pm for a placement of 5 kids. That would put us at 7 or 8 kids. Do to things that we're going on with Little Miss we had to say no. However, today I had that feeling that God was getting ready for us to add another child to our home. On the way to the dentist office with Ms. J I received a call from our worker. She told me we have a 1 year old boy. My heart just melted as this is the age that we desire. Although we know and as God has shown us that it is not always his desire. I said yes right way I knew that this was the child that God had been placing on my heart all day. Our Little R (his online name) will be coming to our home tomorrow. Little R has had a long journey in foster care already. I am praying that God provided us with the tools we need to help this little boy out.
I really want to post about each call as they are the best moments until we get to meet the kids and I think it is part of their journey.
We have seen through our month of foster care that God has many kids that he will be letting us care for and show them his great love. We are realizing that our current house with only 2 bedrooms and our bedroom in the family room is not going to be big enough to hold all of the kids God has for us. Please pray for us as we pray that if God intends for our home to grow that we will find the funds to do so.
Last week we had many calls for placements however God was just saying no so we had to say no. I felt so bad saying no to kids who need a loving home but the true is I can't help them all and I have to let me heart understand that. After receiving a call or two each day over the last week and a half we finally felt God saying yes. We said yes to a 7 year old girl. However things have been a little crazy with her case and we are still waiting to find out if she will be coming or not.
Two nights ago we got a call at 10:30 pm for a placement of 5 kids. That would put us at 7 or 8 kids. Do to things that we're going on with Little Miss we had to say no. However, today I had that feeling that God was getting ready for us to add another child to our home. On the way to the dentist office with Ms. J I received a call from our worker. She told me we have a 1 year old boy. My heart just melted as this is the age that we desire. Although we know and as God has shown us that it is not always his desire. I said yes right way I knew that this was the child that God had been placing on my heart all day. Our Little R (his online name) will be coming to our home tomorrow. Little R has had a long journey in foster care already. I am praying that God provided us with the tools we need to help this little boy out.
I really want to post about each call as they are the best moments until we get to meet the kids and I think it is part of their journey.
We have seen through our month of foster care that God has many kids that he will be letting us care for and show them his great love. We are realizing that our current house with only 2 bedrooms and our bedroom in the family room is not going to be big enough to hold all of the kids God has for us. Please pray for us as we pray that if God intends for our home to grow that we will find the funds to do so.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Letter to Loved One
In my last post I talked about our homework from our 1st day of Adoption Class #2. This was our homework.
Letter to a Loved One
Placing a child for adoption is one of the most difficult decisions that a birth parent will make. Not only will they experience grief and loss, but they also may experience stigma and judgement from those closet to them. Imagine that you or your partner is experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and you have decided to place your child with an adoptive family. Your task is to write a letter to a loved one (a parent, sibling friend or even your partner) telling them about your decision to place this child. Write you letter to a specific person that you care about.
Some things to think about when writing this letter:
What would you want your loved one to know? What would help them better understand your decision? You could write about how you're feeling and/or how you came to this decision.
What would you be worried about? How do you expect your loved one to react to your decision? Will s/he be upset, hurt, disappointed or angry?
Would you expect your loved one to be supportive of your decision? What will happen if s/he is not supportive? What would happen to your relationship with this person? Would their lack of support change your decision?
I'll tell you the feelings that I went through when writing my letter. At first I though it was going to be really hard to write. However, that was an understatement. It was so hard especially when we so desperately want a baby. I cried many tears as I wrote this letter. It took me over an hour to write it. I had a hard time coming up with words to show my compassion for this child. It was hard to figure out the order and at what point in the letter I thought I should say my plan. Writing this letter truly opened up a deeper spot in my heart for these women that have to go through this and a heart wrench spot for those with family that don't support them.
I would suggest anyone going through an adoption to take the time and trying writing a letter like this.
My Letter
Dear Mom,
Over the last few months I have been thinking of what my future is going to hold for my baby and I. Along with my dreams and goals for myself. I have thought hard about how being a parent to this child is going to effect my life. My hopes and dreams for this child is to have a loving and stable home.
With taking on the role of being this child's parent I will not be able to fulfill my goals personally and for my child. I believe that my child's dreams and goals can be fulfilled. However, I have come to realize that I can not emotionally nor physically care for this child the way my heart desires. Through a lot of tears and heartache I have deiced that the best situation for my child would be to place him for adoption.
I realize that my decision may also cause you heartache as I know you were looking forward to being a grandma. You have been so supportive during this time and I am forever grateful I realize that right now you may not understand why I have made this decision and I know you will need time to work through your feelings. I hope that through time you will come to understand why I made this decision and I hope you will continue to support me.
I have chosen open adoption for my child. The reason I made this decision is because I have the ability to choose a family for him. Along with the ability to continue to have a relationship with my child and the family after placement. I want you to know that you can still be a part of this child's life if you choose to. The family I have picked for my child is a very loving and caring family. If you can open your heart to them I know that you will come to love them too. They are more than willing for you to be a part of the family.
I am so thankful for having such a loving and caring mom like you in my life. I am so grateful for the person you have inspired me to be. Without you my life would not be the same.
With my hearts greatest love,
Your Daughter
Life Updates
I have been wanting to blog so bad because there has been so much going on but I just haven't had the time. Where has the month of February gone. There has been so much so I'll separate post for them all.
To start the month out after just 2 short weeks of having our girls we headed to Houston for our adoption class. This is the last one we have to go to in Houston. We have one more we have to do online. Thursday Jan. 31st we dropped Ms. J off at school and then dropped Little Miss off at my dad's house for the weekend. Then we headed out of town. We weren't even 15 minutes away and I already missed them.
Thursday after 8 hours of driving we finally made it to Houston. We checked into our hotel and relaxed for awhile. Then we ventured out to find a place to eat. We ended up eating at the Cheese Cake Factory. After dinner we walked around the mall for awhile and got each of our girls a gift. Then we headed back to the hotel and went to the hot tub. Then we watched property wars for about 3 hours.
Friday morning we eat breakfast at the hotel and then headed out for our class. Our class started at 9 am. We learned a lot during our class and enjoyed meeting our couples going through the class. Class got over at 5 pm. After class we were heading back to the hotel and looking for a place to eat. What we didn't plan on was getting a flat tire on our 7 block drive back to our hotel. Thankfully it happened about a half a block form Sam's and a good thing we had just gotten a Sam's membership a few months ago. Where we were at there isn't much besides high-end stores, company's, hotels and the Galleria Mall. So there was not much choice in where we were stopping. Thankfully there was no wait and we knew that God was helping us out because they told us normally they have an 1 to 2 hour wait. God knew that we needed to get back to the hotel to get our homework done for our class. Our flat tire turned into purchasing 2 new tires. Since we were going to be their for awhile we decided to buy my Dad some wine for taking care of my girls for the weekend and we decided to just eat there so we could just go back to the hotel. We had homework to do. It was very emotional and hard. We had to put ourselves in the birth mothers shoes and write a letter to someone dear to us and explain to them why we made the decision that we did. I will post my letter in another post.
Saturday morning we got up and packed everything up. Then headed to class. Class started again at 9 am. Today we went over the whole process in detail and everything that was required form us before we could be shown to birth mothers. We also had to pick out a book to read. They require that you read 2 books. One they pick out for you and one you get to pick out. The book they require is Children of Open Adoption by Kathleen Silber and Patricia Martinez Dorner. The book we picked out to read is Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother by Jana Wolff. Both are really good books so far, however my favorite is the Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is adopting. They gave us a list to pick from. I'll also post it in a separate post. So after class got over about 1 pm we picked up lunch and headed back home to our girls.
Our girls did not have such a good time when we were gone and it was really hard on them. I'll post that separately.
To start the month out after just 2 short weeks of having our girls we headed to Houston for our adoption class. This is the last one we have to go to in Houston. We have one more we have to do online. Thursday Jan. 31st we dropped Ms. J off at school and then dropped Little Miss off at my dad's house for the weekend. Then we headed out of town. We weren't even 15 minutes away and I already missed them.
Thursday after 8 hours of driving we finally made it to Houston. We checked into our hotel and relaxed for awhile. Then we ventured out to find a place to eat. We ended up eating at the Cheese Cake Factory. After dinner we walked around the mall for awhile and got each of our girls a gift. Then we headed back to the hotel and went to the hot tub. Then we watched property wars for about 3 hours.
Friday morning we eat breakfast at the hotel and then headed out for our class. Our class started at 9 am. We learned a lot during our class and enjoyed meeting our couples going through the class. Class got over at 5 pm. After class we were heading back to the hotel and looking for a place to eat. What we didn't plan on was getting a flat tire on our 7 block drive back to our hotel. Thankfully it happened about a half a block form Sam's and a good thing we had just gotten a Sam's membership a few months ago. Where we were at there isn't much besides high-end stores, company's, hotels and the Galleria Mall. So there was not much choice in where we were stopping. Thankfully there was no wait and we knew that God was helping us out because they told us normally they have an 1 to 2 hour wait. God knew that we needed to get back to the hotel to get our homework done for our class. Our flat tire turned into purchasing 2 new tires. Since we were going to be their for awhile we decided to buy my Dad some wine for taking care of my girls for the weekend and we decided to just eat there so we could just go back to the hotel. We had homework to do. It was very emotional and hard. We had to put ourselves in the birth mothers shoes and write a letter to someone dear to us and explain to them why we made the decision that we did. I will post my letter in another post.
Saturday morning we got up and packed everything up. Then headed to class. Class started again at 9 am. Today we went over the whole process in detail and everything that was required form us before we could be shown to birth mothers. We also had to pick out a book to read. They require that you read 2 books. One they pick out for you and one you get to pick out. The book they require is Children of Open Adoption by Kathleen Silber and Patricia Martinez Dorner. The book we picked out to read is Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother by Jana Wolff. Both are really good books so far, however my favorite is the Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is adopting. They gave us a list to pick from. I'll also post it in a separate post. So after class got over about 1 pm we picked up lunch and headed back home to our girls.
Our girls did not have such a good time when we were gone and it was really hard on them. I'll post that separately.
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