Monday, August 29, 2011

I'm Still Here

I'm still here. I've had a hard time staying positive all month so its been really hard for me to write. I will find out on the 6th when my surgery date is. My pain in out of control and just wearing me thin. Sorry for the lack of posting. Hoping to get back in the swing of things when the surgery is done.  I truly miss all of your support and I am so thankful for everyone of you.

Saturday, August 6, 2011


Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us. I have been doing a lot of praying and asking God for guidance on timing and patients to keep waiting. I have never been totally for sure of the agency we were looking at. I had that one little question hiding inside weather it was the right one for us or not. The money thing has also been a big thing on the fact of when we could adopt. I know dept down that when it is the right time that god would take that burden away. Over the last couple of weeks god has been changing things that I was not ready for.

I have been so consumed by our current foster placement that I have been lacking of the amount of time that I normally spend with him and have not been setting time aside to listen to him. I have only been listing to what I want to hear about this current placement. I have been looking for answers to weather or not these 2 our meant to be ours or not. At this point I am still unsure. There are times were I want to say yes and other times when I'm lead to say no. They have been pushing us for an answer. I think we could handle 1 of them but 2 of them at times is overwhelming for my husband. They both have major mental health issues and with there diagnosis they will have life long affects and because of my profession I don't know that we could take the risk of one of the things that could be the biggest issue. I hate to say no because then I feel like it shows the kids that no body really doesn't care and that everyone will give up on them. I don't want to be that for them. One of our other big question is how would they do with other children in the home as we could like to have more then just them in our family.

It's amazing how God answers prayer in ways that you would never think of. God has used other people in my life to answer them. My dad was working at a fair at the wine booth for the vineyard he works at. There was a couple that came up to the table with a baby of a different background. My dad had the courage to go up and ask them where they adopted their baby from and told them that his daughter (me) was looking for a place to adopt to. They talked with him but my dad didn't know where. I find it very amazing that God had my dad go up to a complete stranger to ask them such a sensitive question because that is not something my dad would normally do. Then over the last week this couple went to the vineyard that my dad worked at and gave him information on the agency.

Its amazing how God works because it is the perfect place for us. We are waiting to hear back form them on Monday. They have different programs that they get funding for which greatly lowers the cost. The cost of adoption also varies on your income. We can't wait to hear back from them so we can hopefully get started.

We have also been getting some small amounts of money and some of a bigger amounts from things that we have over paid on. At first I just though it was to help pay for the repair to my husbands truck however the money has paid for that and the rest is adding up in the savings for adoption. We got a call the other day that could not of helped out even more. I have been asking god if all of these extra checks are suppose to mean now is the time. We got a call on Thursday from the dealer ship that fixed the truck that said there was a billing error and we would be getting back half of what we paid them.

God is amazing and his timing is more perfect then we could ever imagine....