Monday, September 24, 2012


On Friday I had a surgery done to remove endometriosis, a cyst and test for cancer in the uterus. They needed up finding a tone of endometriosis and my right ovary was twisted upside down and backwards. I feel amazing as I usually do after the surgery. I am really hoping that this one will last more than a month or two. I go back in 2 weeks and will find out what the plan is here from here on out. I am waiting to hear back from the dietitian so that I can work on controlling my PCOS.

Only 3 more weeks until our class :)
Tomorrow we turn in our Adoption Home Study Packet.
We ran into some issues from the one in Idaho so we are just going to start over and pay the extra $500 as were not sure if it will ever get sent over.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Surgery Is A Go

I haven't heard back from yesterday that I'm not having surgery after redoing all my blood work so I am taking that surgery is a go. I have to be there at 7:45 and surgery is at 9:45. It takes an hour to get there and an hour back if we don't hit rush hour. I'm really not looking forward to the hour drive home. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and praying that it will go smoother than planned. Both the doctor and I have a feeling that the surgery is going to get more complicated then planned and could possible end in a total hysterectomy which means their will be no chance of every having our own kids. I'm fine with that if that is God's plan for us and I've accepted it. However, this is the first doctor that has ever looked at it as a possibility. The other doctors just kept saying I'm to young. You have lots of time left to keep trying. I wanted to believe them but this is surgery number 5. Having to have surgery every year is not very ideal and every surgery just increases the chance and the amount of endometriosis there is and could be. Off I go to pick up my loving family that will be there with me this time.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

3 year anniversary (A little Late)

On Sept 12th we celebrated our 3 year anniversary. We spend the morning looking for our futures little one outfit to come home from the hospital in. We also went my the hospital to pay my surgery bill that had to be paid to do my surgery that got cancelled. We went to a movie at a theater in the city. They have a old style theater that has the curtain that raises just before the movie starts. They also have a balcony area for people over 21. They serve you lunch/dinner at your seat and if you need anything during the show you just push the button and they come and take your order and bring it right to you. It was something different and fun. The best part was the big comfy chairs and the only thing it could use is a bathroom right next to the theater so you could hear the movie when you have to make a potty break.

We also bought a trip for next years anniversary. Now we just have to save up for the things we will want to do while were there. Last year we agreed that we would take a trip but we didn't plan on moving at that point. Besides saving for next years trip we are going to start saving for our 5th anniversary trip. Since we never really got to take a honeymoon we decided that we would go somewhere special on our 5th anniversary. We're hoping for Hawaii or Jamaica so well see how that saving goes after the adoption is paid for.

Our First Stop...Dropping off our family photo/story book

We took a trip to Bass Pro 
 At the fish tank
 Shooting Area

 Jacob totally kicked my butt

At the movie theater...Those were some comfy chairs.

 Front of the theater
 Our baby girls outfit

 Our Baby Boys outfit


Today I meet with the endocrinologist for the first time. It is one of the best appointments I've had in a long time. She is going to test my thyroid and do a 2 hour glucose tolerance test but the good news is that she would not even consider me pre-diabetic from my blood sugars from this last week. However after my surgery (hopefully this Friday) I will try taking metformin again to see if it will help keep things level and hopefully lose weight. I am also going to meet with the nutritiousness at the hospital and hopefully I can get some more ideas. Tomorrow I am getting the labs and glucose test done so hopefully they turn out good. I have my pre-surgery labs tomorrow so hopefully they come back better than last week so I can have surgery this week. I am so ready for some relief from pain and discomfort.

Friday, September 14, 2012

No Surgery Today

Well I was suppose to have surgery today to remove the cyst on my right ovary and to test for cancer in the uterus due to having symptom and sign of cancer in the uterus. Yesterday my labs came back and put the surgery on hold due to my blood platelet levels and blood count levels. I have to wait until next Thursday and hope for better  results so they can complete the surgery next Friday.
If you could please pray for me over the next week that my blood test will turn out better next week so we can complete the surgery. It will be such a relief to get the test results back on the cancer and to find out if the right ovary is even functional.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Ultrasound Results

I went to an OB two weeks ago because I had pain starting again that was all to familiar. I just had that feeling that there was a cyst again. I did my research to find a OB that specialized in PCOS and Endometriosis since I'm near a big city now. I found a few doctors but most weren't taking new patients but I'm glad I found the one I did. After meeting him for the first time two weeks ago I know that we were going to get along. From what I was reporting he decided we were going to start from scratch and figure out a plan of what are the most important things to treat and figure out first. I don't think he really know what he was getting himself in for. The lab work came back normal last week but they didn't give me the ultrasound results and I was sure I knew why. I figured their was a cyst growing. Well today I was in for a little surprise.

One note first. This doctor is ranked #4 in the city and with that ranking he must be extremely good because he is always behind and by behind I mean behind. Last time my appointment was at 2pm and it was shortly before 5 before he came into the room. Today my appointment was at 1:45 and it was 3 before he came into the room.

Well one of his first statements was he wasn't sure where to start. The labs came back normal which was good but he said from their he's not sure where to go and what to do next. So he started talking about my diet that the last clinic put me on. He didn't like it at all. So the plan is to send me to an Endocrinologist to figure out what would be the best diet for me but he's not sure when that should come into play or how soon.

One of the biggest things he was worried about was the ultrasound results. Not only was there a cyst on the right side (this is a first for the right side but it was one of the fear of taking out the left ovary). Also keep in mind that I did 6 months of injections at $800 a pop to prevent cyst and endometriosis from coming back. The injections were one of the last treatments left that I haven't tired to keep this stuff away. They can't see the endometriosis in the ultrasound so we're not sure how bad that is. The cyst is small but with my history and with the past treatments with medications to make them go away we both decided it is over all best to do another laparoscopy to remove the cyst and possible endometriosis. The biggest problem is what is inside the uterus. The lining is extremely thick which is a big concern and with the other problems with not having cycles, not ovulating and other problems I'm not gonna write about the doctor is very very concerned about cancer of the uterus. If it is not caner he is fairly confident that it is pre-cancerous due to my multiple diagnosis increasing my chances.

The question was about what is best to do first. Would it be better for me to see the endocrinologist first to get everything where it should be and start working on things first and then see how the cyst reacts to medications and just do a test to test for cancer which he said is very painful doing in the office. Wait for results and then do the surgery later. Or do both surgeries at once first and get everything taken care of and then see the endocrinologist after that.

We both decided it would be best to start there. I always love it when the doctors tell you that their not sure where to start because there are so many things that need to be worked on. So we're starting here. On Friday I will have surgery to remove the cyst on the right ovary and any possible endometriosis. He is also going to check the right ovary and tube for function. Since I only have the right side, it would make sense to take it all out if the right side would never work as it would give us a start in the right directions instead of spend thousands of dollars in medications trying to save it in the hopes that one day we could maybe try more fertility treatments. (Which he also brought up. He said depend on what he ends up doing and the results of the test for cancer he might want to be referring me soon if we are wanting to do them again. Keep in mind my first appointment we talked about it being way down the road as in a year or two from now and now were talking months. I think the ultrasound really woke him up to how bad it was.) Then next  Wednesday I meet with the Endocrinologist to start working on a diet plan and hormone treatments depending on what they find. So the next two weeks are going to be very overwhelming with information and life changes. Its going to make the 4 weeks until our adoption class go by fast.

I'm just keeping my figures crossed that he is so very wrong and that the ultrasound was wrong and there is no sign or there is no cancer. Either way I know God has a plan and even tho I can't see the big picture now I will see it down the road. Even tho it was hard to hear that it is likely possible that I have cancer in the uterus its not a first. I got told 3 years ago when I lost my vision that it is possible that I had a brain tumor and 9 months ago that I possibly had kidney failure. They have all turned out differently then planned. I think god has been doing some work.

I will update all of you after Friday morning with how the surgery goes.

Sept 11th

I know that this is an old video but I think its powerful. These videos all make my heart ache for the people who died that day. I pray for their friends, family and co-worker. So many people lost their lives and even tho it is so hard to think about God has a plan for all of the peoples lives that were lost.

I am so great-full to all the people who server our country today, tomorrow and yesterday. I am so great-full for their families as well.

I still remember Sept 11th like it was yesterday. I was standing by the door at school ready to go into class. When one of the kids said they saw there was a plan that crashed into a building on TV right before he left for school. Once we were in school we started asking about it. So our first period teacher turned on the T.V to see what was happening. I remember throughout the day the teachers would let us watch the TV and then would talk to us about what was going on. I remember that I felt scared for all of those people. It is a day in my life I will never forget. I did a project at school on 9-11 that year. I still have the newspapers from those days and weeks and months after. I also have video from the news reports hoping someday I  will be able to tell my grand kids about it as they read it in their history books.

I think 9-11 have build a stronger faith and family as a nation and even tho what happened that day is devastating and has changed our lives as a nation forever.

9/11 Remembrance

Monday, September 10, 2012

Moving On Up!!!!!!


Another Family Has been matched. That leaves 8 families on the list....With getting closer to our class I'm getting so excited because it gives up better odds. Congrats to that family :)

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Where I Belong

As we are patiently awaiting for our precious little one I have learned that I need to be more alert to what is going on in the world and around me. Before I never really listened to the world around me. I have learned to listen as God as created so much beauty in this world. I have also learned that some of the answers I am looking for are right in front of me and I only would of know the answer sooner if I would have opened my eyes. 
Every time I have turned on the radio the last two weeks weather in the car or at home this song is either starting to play or is playing. The first two times I thought nothing about it but the third time I started thinking it is a little odd. The fourth time I realized God must be trying to tell me something. The fifth time I listened hard as I wasn't getting what he was trying to tell me. The sixth, seventh and so on...I still wasn't exactly sure what he was trying to say. This time I really listened and decided if I can't figure it out on my own I better try to figure it out. So I read some verses form the bible and still couldn't figure it out. I went to the internet and look over the lyrics to see if I could figure it out. Still nothing. So I decided  I would look up more info on the song and found this.

“Where I Belong” was written out of the thought process of “where is our home”? If there was a theme to my life over the last year it would be “this place is not our home”.
Why would I say that? Well, because in the last couple of years I’ve watched a lot of people I respect make major mistakes that had a huge impact on their lives.  
Why would people who have everything choose to do things that destroy the blessing they live under? The more I think about it, the more I realize that the “good life” just doesn’t exist here on earth. Nothing we have, earn, are given, or could buy will ever keep us from desiring something more. This is proven by the people who have it all but give it all away in an effort to get more.
It was echoed in my own life as I began to realize that I wasn’t so different from the people who had made such huge mistakes. We’re always in a fight to remember why we exist and where we belong. It’s an all out war to stay on the path. If you and I think we’re above the BIG mistakes, we’re kidding ourselves.
This song reminds me that some day the work that God began in me will be completed. In the meantime it reminds me to say “take this world and give me Jesus”. When I live by that phrase, everything is different and suddenly the things I think I need become worthless. The coolest thing about this song is the comfort that it has brought to a lot of people as they’ve had to face our greatest fear in life: death. A song that I wrote about how to live has also become a song of assurance for many people close to us. We hope it serves as a reminder to all. This world is not our home. In the arms of our Creator is where we belong.
This is where I found something that could make sense with why God keeps playing this song every time I turn the radio on. In the last paragraph it say "This song reminds me that some day the work of God began in me will be complete. In the meantime it reminds me to say "take this world and give me Jesus". Then the lyrics "So when the walls come falling down on me and when I'm lost in the current of a raging sea I have this blessed assurance holding me. 
Our latest prayers have been about God helping us to find a way to come up with the $4,000 we need to pay for the rest of our adoption. We also pray for the baby, future foster children, their birth parents, giving us the patients to continue to wait and what is his calling for us in the lives of these kids. We have also been praying that we want to be able to glorify him in with the adoption and the foster kids we will care for. I realized that God's work is being done everyday as he his growing and creating paths with each and every kid to place them in our lives at the most perfect time. That through them they show us Gods work and through us we are able to teach them about God. God is using us for these children and that is his calling for us and until his work is done with us and these children it is my job to show them Jesus. When these kids come to us their lives are in the middle of the raging sea and it is our job to show them they have the blessed assurance of God holding onto them. It also applies to us as we wait for our adoption. There are days when I feel like I am almost drowning lost at sea and I'm only being held up by one tiny thread. My problem is that I forget that the one tiny thread that is holding me out of the water is God. Most importantly I forget to glorify him.

"Where I Belong" By Building 429

Sometimes it feels like I'm watching from the outside
Sometimes it feels like I'm breathing but am I alive
I won't keep searching for answers that aren't here to find

All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

So when the walls come falling down on me
And when I'm lost in the current of a raging sea
I have this blessed assurance holding me.

All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

When the earth shakes I wanna be found in You
When the lights fade I wanna be found in You

All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

Where I belong, where I belong
Where I belong, where I belong

Your love, Oh, Lord reaches to the heavens. Your faithfulness stretches to the sky!! Thank you Jesus!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Sweet Baby

Sweet Sweet Baby or Babies...
Your room is finally finished for the most part. There are a few things we still need and things we can't finish until you are here.  Sweet baby we are so ready for you and pray daily for you and your birth mother. We are hoping you are already growing in your mommy's tummy. My heart prays that you'll be here before Christmas but my heart knows it could be next Christmas before you are here. We wait patiently everyday for you. We have 5 weeks until our class. We are so excited. Next week we are going shopping to find a take home outfit for you just in case you come without much notice. This year we get to spend our 3 year anniversary looking for things for you. Have I said how excited I'm getting.....
I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed that our background checks come back before our class so that we can officially be on "the waiting list" so your birth mother can pick us out. We know that God will pick the most perfect time for you to come but just know I'm not going on any trips until your here. I'm not gonna miss the chance by being out of town. Sorry Family. Your gonna have to wait to see us.

So here's the nursery pictures.....

 The Swing we put together this week
 Rennie testing our the swing to make sure it works.