We are leaving in 4 days to head back home. This will be the first Christmas that we get to go home since we moved. All tho I prayed and prayed that I wanted a baby before the next Christmas all year long I seem to be at peace with God that this year was not the year however I have the hope of the future that is full of hope that someday soon we will have a forever child in our arms to hold forever.
We have a current home study however we have to have another one done. I goal is to get our application turned in Tomorrow along with our questioner from the adoption agency. I feel horrible because it has taken me so long to get it done. I hate feeling like I am the one making this take longer. There are some very good reasons as to why it is taking me so long. I feel like I can only share such a small portion of my life and journey and I don't like that. I want to be able to share the whole journey. One reason is because I know that there is family that reads my blog which limits just a small portion and part two the foster children living with me have so much going on and things that I would love to share as I think that it is an important part of my journey. However due to them being foster children I can't share.
I wish everyone a very Marry and Happy Christmas....I don't know if I'll be able write again before Christmas but hopefully I can share will we are on our trip.
Here's a picture of three of us since I am unable to show you the other two. I really wish I could because they are so cute....
This is a really good book for anyone who is considering adoption and for anyone who really knows me I hate reading and writing. If it wasn't for the support of those in the blogging world I would not be writing this blog..Anyways I have read the book in 4 days with a very busy life of 2 several behavioral children and working 60 hours in a week. Some of the things we have already done and some of them are not possible for us at this time but it is very inspiring.
Hello God, I called
tonight To talk a little while I need a friend who'll listen To my
anxiety and trial.
You see, I can't quite make it Through a day just on my own... I need
your love to guide me, So I'll never feel alone.
I want to ask you
please to keep, My family safe and sound. Come and fill their lives with
confidence For whatever fate they're bound.
Give me faith, dear God, to face Each hour throughout the day, And not
to worry over things I can't change in any way.
I thank you God, for
being home And listening to my call, For giving me such good advice
When I stumble and fall.. !!!!!!! Your number, God, is the only one That answers every time.
I never get a busy signal, Never had to pay a dime. So thank you, God, for listening To my troubles and my
sorrow. Good night, God, I love You, too, And I'll call again tomorrow!
P.S. Please bless all my friends and family too.
Three years ago today you got to go home with the heavenly father. We miss you like crazy and I really wish you were here on earth with us but we know you are in very good hands up there. We can't wait to see you when we get to heaven and finally get to hold you in our arms for the first time. It will be better than I will ever imagine. We wish you a happy birthday day!!!! Love, Mom and Dad.
This time of the year is so tough with the lose of our first baby girl 3 years ago. Every year when I am sitting wrapping presents I wish I would be wrapping them for our precious girl and her siblings who are all up in heaven together. This year is extra hard for me. As of Christmas last year my wish was that this Christmas we would have a child of ours from an adoption in our arms or on the way. This year I do have 2 children in my home that are here to stay for a little longer before moving on to their forever family. My prayers were answered just not in the way that I thought. I should be joyful and happy that we have two children in our home in which we get to spend Christmas with and teaching them about the true meaning of Christmas. However it is just not the same knowing that they are not our forever children. We are not as far along with the adoption process as I would prefer to be at this time however I know that it will happen when the time is right in Gods eyes. However it is so hard to patiently wait another year without having a child of ours close by. I am so thankful that I have God so close by to help me through this hard time.
Other news lack of posting......
We are currently working on getting an application into a close by adoption agency that is accepting us at my age as this has been a big hurdle we have been trying to over come. Age isn't something that is easy to change and change fast. It is so hard hearing people tell you that we are unable to work with you at this time because of your age however when your turn ..... you are more than welcome to come back and work with us and we are looking forward to working with you then. The agency that we are currently talking to has an age requirement of 28 however we applied anyways. When the lady first starting talking with me she was asking me all kinds of phone interview questions to see if we meet their other requirements. We don't quite meet there marriage requirement but we are almost there. She first starting saying....we normally don't accept people under the age of 25. That would mean we would have another 1 year before we could start doing anything. At the end she said she was going to talk with the other lady in the office as I seemed very mature for my age being that we are already doing foster care. It took them two weeks with the holiday in all to get back with the answer. I was expecting to hear not at the time but when you are 25 we would be more than happy to work with you. However that is not what I heard. What I heard was music to my ears. We would love to work with you and your husband. Fill out the in depth application and as long as everything is clear will get started on the next step....YEAH!!!! Finally something to look forward too and there waiting period is less than six months. I am continuing to pray that by next years snow fall...I shouldn't say that it doesn't snow here....by Christmas next year that I will have a child that is ours forever in our hands or on its way.
Sorry I have been absent the last 2 weeks however the little one living with us had to go to the hospital 6 hours away from where we live. Two weeks ago Friday night we ended up in the hospital with her and they informed us that the hospitals close by were all full and had no openings within 24 hours so we would have to travel to Boise or Seattle. Never mind you it was 1 am and she would have to be directly transported there. Not even suppose to come home and get anything. I told them I was going to get my husband to come with. It might not snow here but once you leave the valley there is lots of it. So we left Saturday morning at 3:30 am for a 6 hour road trip one way on nice roads. It took way longer than that but we made it safely. We got to go back and get her last weekend. We are so glad that she is back but it was one of the best things for this little girl at this time. Were just hoping that things don't turn around and we have to take her back. God is definitely working on this little girl and it is so amazing watching her grow in faith she doesn't understand much at this time as she has been through a lot but she does understand him and learns more everyday.
Sorry for the long post....I'm hoping after the first of the year and when a lot of things will be changing that I will be able to get back to my blogging. I sure miss it which is crazy for me because I hate writing and I know its one of my weakness but I miss my blogging family and all of the support.
P.S.-Second Lupron injection completed this week. Yeah for no side effects from the first one...Lets hope the second one is the same.