Another Childless Mother's Day

I was going to start writing this yesterday but then I decided to wait and I'm glad I did. Yesterday as I stated with the title I was going to talk about how I had another year of unanswered prayers. Another year without a baby to hold in my arms. How I really don't feel like a mom even with babies in heaven and being a foster mom to 5 wonderful children. It just doesn't feel that empty whole. Then I realized how God has been working in my life. It never hit me until the middle of last week that our yard sell was being held on Mother's day weekend (it was the only weekend that really worked out after having to change it a couple of times). How raising over $1000 (and still counting) was bring us one huge step closer in our adoption journey and the last couple of weeks God has taken my frustration with having to wait to start with a new agency and feeling like I am going to have to wait several more years before we get there to a hopeful out look that next year I could possibly be holding a child in my arms on Mother's Day.
It's amazing the hope God has given me throughout the day. In our church they have all the mothers stand up to honor them and I have never stood up over the last 3 years because I feel as if I'm not a Mom but I'm wrong. The 5 wonderful foster kids that we have had through the year have all reffed to me as mom but I have never taken it to heart. I just tell myself they don't understand the meaning of the word but today God has helped me see the role I have played in their life. Even tho I may not be there only mom or their biological mom to them I am mom. I am a person who has shown them love. I am a person whom they want to be with. I have given them more love in the little time that they have been in our life then they had received in days, months and maybe years.
The two that we have been caring for lately have shown me how much I touch their lives. How by getting one on one attentions for the little time we have has been the world to them. We are kinda co fostering with another foster parent and when its time for them to leave they don't want to go. When their not here they are asking to be here. I feel bad for the other foster parent but at the same time I feel so grateful that God has given me the ability to spend the time with them that the other parent isn't able to provide and that I can physically see it. Its truly an amazing feeling.
So Today I am a mom and I should be proud of it. I have 3 amazing babies that are home and they could not be in a more loving and caring spot. I have changed the lives of 5 kids. I may not be a traditional mom however I am a mom to God's orphans and will continue to be because of God's amazing grace.